thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I just want nice things and good sex
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
