I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
