why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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