I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
