I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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