K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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