someone threw a dead crab at me
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
