Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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