did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
