come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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