Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
