I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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