her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
