i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
