He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
