We're like a lot better than the average bears
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
