i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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