Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
