hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
When are your genitals available?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
