My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
