I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize