At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
sarcasm needs its own font
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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