bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I feel great
I just peed on a car
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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