So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
