Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Randomize
