he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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