You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
