I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
