Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
