I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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