Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
