And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
you inspire me to be a worse person
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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