You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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