I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
