I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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