I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
