Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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