I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Holy sore nipples Batman
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
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