Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
