do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
