i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
