I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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