he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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