I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
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