Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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