and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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