ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
