my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
