Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
