the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
