So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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