My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
