Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
